I stared right back at her. “Mom, I swear that I didn’t –”
“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered. “And you didn’t give that kid a black eye either – neither did you shove that kid into the ditch.” She gave the steering wheel a vicious twist and turned the car into our driveway. Pulling the key from the ignition, she grabbed up her purse and popped the door open. “Get out, go to your room, and do your homework until dinner. No phone calls or computer.”
Flinching as she slammed the door closed angrily, I grabbed up my backpack and headed inside. I really didn’t give the kid a black eye – one of the many bullies at my school did, and he blamed it on me. And later, I shoved him into the ditch. Because he deserved it. And just today, he came up to me and tried to trip me on the way to lunch – instead, he missed and ended up falling flat onto his face, breaking his own nose in the process. And of course, I was blamed. For shoving him.
Kicking the door shut, I dropped my black bag onto my bed and dropped into my chair in front of the table. It had been two years since I’d moved from Washington State to the middle of nowhere Arizona and I still didn’t fit in. I wanted to be home again. I wanted to be Rey Richards, the popular kid, instead of Rey Richards, the kid who gets picked on all the time.
With a sigh, I pulled my homework out of my bag and started to write in it, listening to some music at the same time. Don’t worry, the kid deserved it. And not every good deed goes unpunished, a silky voice purred in my head.
This was the evil voice inside my head that I sometimes listened to. I called it the Phoenix. It was silly really, naming something inside of me. It was all in my head. How do you know I’m not?
Go away, I thought back.
I felt a not-so-friendly smile, and the voice disappeared.
I worked in silence for a while, enjoying it with my music while it lasted. Phoenix sometimes returned at random times and I wanted to be able to do my homework in peace until then.
Then my pen stopped on top of a problem. I couldn’t answer it. It just wouldn’t come to me. Take your time, it’ll come to you, the Phoenix said inside my mind. I sighed.
Why don’t you leave me alone?
There was a laugh. How can I, Rey? I’m part of you, aren’t I? If you want me to leave, you might as well kill yourself – as long as you live, I live. That’s how it goes, it cackled back at me.
Are you a real person? I wondered.
There was a curious smile that I felt in its voice. Do you think I am?
No, because it would be impossible.
Nothing’s impossible.
My hands curled into fists. What is it with you and proverbs? You’re not a sage or monk or whatever they’re called so stop it with the proverbs and just leave me the hell alone! I screamed at him. Without thinking, I turned and slammed my fists into cement wall beside my desk.
Gasping with pain that exploded out from my wrists, I turned and collapsed onto the ground, falling out of the chair, cradling my aching hands to my chest. Then I listened. For a while, everything was silent except for the music that hummed pleasantly in my ears, but then I felt elated – the Phoenix was gone. For now.
“Rey, dinner,” my mother’s curt voice called up the stairs.
“Coming,” I called back.
Shaking out my hands, I opened the door and dashed down the stairs.